Searching.
Things I knew but today I said out loud. Having a verbal conversation with my brain was the most exhilarating activity I had today.
"What would you say you are?"
- I'm a master piece. A creation not just of any sort but of high intelligence. Being human as everyone would say is just recognition for me. It's much more than that. Being human is like a classification. Since there are more things that were created. Everything needs to be classified as some sort. But in reality we are much more than what the objective thinkers would say. It's about our soul... our mind... Your thoughts.. What makes me such a divine creation? This is what defines me. My knowledge, my thirst for knowledge & my growth using everything my brain accumulates. I'm beyond what the natural eye can identify. I'm in control. I'm not what the system tells me to be. I'm more than the system can handle.. I've agreed to the fact that I'm going to forever be an enemy to the system. All information.. All beauty that's hidden is what interests me...what my brain seeks for. I don't want defined capabilities.. I want never ending visions. Never ending inspiration. I don't want to be defined in a limited manner as the system does. I want more. More is never ending. I'm a specific science researched by the system. Finders of this science were never recognized just shut down 'cos the relevance of us is beyond the control of these mind sucking system worshipers. We could change the world. Bring to light freedom but freedom is a sin for them. Their chains are painted as freedom. But freedom can not be limited. It can't be just a square shaped box that one must learn to accustom to. No. It's cunning slavery. Brain washing. So.. You might ask "who are you". For recognition.. Your natural eyes will identify me as human. By observation one can conclude as "weird" science.
"What is most important to you?"
- Happiness. As shallow as that may sound to some.
My soul at peace. Peace will ensure my happiness. My soul....my soul is me. It's what lives. My body is just..A body. My soul is what I love for. How silly that sounds right? It's what I am. It's what I feed. It's what I take care of. It's what defines me.
The hunger for growth, for knowledge, for the unknown is what makes me what I am.
It's constant depth observation of things & as what it seems but what it might not seem to be. Everything that seems might be an illusion created by the ones who tend to control this world of today. I want to see beyond the blur, beyond the lines.. beyond the accustomed rules & conventions. My soul thirsts for the unknown. The unknown who is hidden from the ordinary man is what it feeds on. Findings of it's very unknown..An answer to its very unknown satisfies this hungry beast. Puts it at peace. My soul is me. My brain & my soul are more than acquaintances. Two individuals that work with each other to create such a healthy being. For me, my soul is everywhere no specific location. Once in a while I believe my soul departs for a split moment, goes on escapades just to feed on the energy of the universe as intensely long as that may sound it's quite an awesomely quick moment. . Some sort of rejuvenating exercise I believe. Fundamental nutrients are gained which strengthens my growth. I do not complain. Knowing what makes me..What’s around me...essential necessities hidden from us suddenly found makes the entire me happy as fuck. Peace.
You might not be able to comprehend till you find your peace. Your inner happiness. Your soul must be satisfied but still on the quest for more.
Never ending visions. Never ending inspirations. Never ending me.
As I continue to follow the path of peace & happiness..My healthy soul continues to brighten all dark roads. The lantern of my world.
Merrily Jane.
The only time I fell in love with a girl. Only time I want to feel a girl.
Her intoxication suffocates me but I don't die. I inflame. I become those tender curved lines I see as I release the fragrance, the fragrance I never want to forget.
Colour I see in this old grey world.
Wait. Maybe you don't understand...she's a lover. Touching all my senses, opening them, she moves in slowly causing Goosebumps in places I want to see.
She would have me anywhere but best preferred in my presence alone. She enthusiastically turns my abstract thoughts into clarified visions. I'm never reluctant. Who would be?
This passion. Sex to mind. Body to my sex.
She's power.
I'm in control. Her power instilled in me. Bulletproof makes no sense in this ritual.
If I was privileged to find such a nature given fruit, nature must be insanely gorgeous.
I had an awesome day.
Today, I went to the beach with my friends.
The beach was gorgeous. I know it's just a beach...water...sand..salt...nothing else. But there was so much more. I kept on repeating how beautiful this adventure was, my friend's smiled & agreed with me but I doubt they quite understood how beautiful it was to me.
Nature is BEAUTIFUL. She is amazing. Her vanity I adore. We are all so accustomed to nature we do not appreciate her worth & beauty...her relevance.
All that sand...the rocks...the water with so much salt...the breeze embracing every inch of my body...the sky...the fish that hopped off the rock back into the water. It was wonderful.
So much beauty to be aware of, to admire & to appreciate.
I realized nature is the best thing we could ever have. Every phenomenon spectacular.
I ignored the distractions (dirt etc) & thought how we humans take advantage of the most precious gift we are given.
I love the sky. The clouds always have some sort of story to tell. I always try to understand.
Only if we knew.
How many of us just look? Admire?
How can such beauty be ignored?
Beauty both inner & outer.
Nature blessed me today.
حدد نوع الجنس & نكح
A certain emotional force.
This certain being.
I want. I want everything.
Can I have everything?
You're going to be mine. You've to. I use you for my mirth.
Your force, my force so intense we both quiver. Every single cell in my body absorbs your energy.
My energy makes you weak.
Don't stop. "I need you" is whispered.
No promises but if this is good, we could do it again.
You taste me. I lick me off you.
Sticking all the right places.
I lick. I bite. I kiss. Just touch & experience the outstanding.
We both taste good. This is blessed.
*Intense energy difficult to avoid makes me quiver with utter exuberance.
Fast-forwarding.
She always has a lot to say.
Her second self always talking to imaginaries. Maybe one day they would be more than illusions?
Illusionist but teaches reality. Everyone vanished though.
Even the one she cared about. She cared about a lot but free time allows her to zap them into disappearing acts.
Why? She was bored. Voices told her to. She was always ready to experience something new so hesitated not in any of the actions.
All gone. All gone but one.
Interest in a certain one allowed her to tell those voices to shut up. It was time to make a decision independently.
She hid that one from them. Completely opaque looking bubble, she wanted no unwanted stares. She knew once they knew, the idea of Tired came to mind. They would possess her into doing what she always ends up doing.
She enjoyed the unconscious relaxation she felt just by the warmth thoughts.
Warmth turned to wet.
Till they cleared their visions they looked through. Possessed her. Mirth controlled her. Puppet by illusion.
She fell through. The one had a sense of departure approaching.
Pulled her by the strings & she created another bubble.
Away from her own self.
Occurrence of future events will determine written words.
Disease of the Dream & Reality.
In my dream... As thoughts fight with each other & reach a conclusion;
So. I thought about you....no. I've been thinking about you so I decided to write about you. I think I did already.
Maybe I did like what I got. I'm sure I did. Why else would I be thinking?
They way you tried. The little details. The music.
The Grass.
*Straight face* "Is that all you need me for?"- I laughed.
Maybe. Sort of. Yes.
Because you care about what I think. You already knew what I thought. But so courageous to make me think otherwise.
You felt like a particular knight didn't you?
Your so little, lost self with such a unused brain.
I like it. I use my energy to pick it up & feed on it.
You like it.
The brilliance in my appetite.
The brilliance in the Art.
*Pause*. The repeated fragrance I knew for a couple of days continuously.
Awakened...
I still want this lost treasured soul.
I might just allow the value to glisten.
The Queen & Spy Princess. Epicness.
I Want to marry a god.
A god. A god of all gods.
I want my children to be powerful. Half mighty & half thinking they are mighty.
They will take over the world. Kill who they please. (Evil obviously). But, what is evil? They might be evil.
I want a god. god of all gods. Sex, music, art.
I didn't say money or power?
No.
I don't care! I just want a god.
He's gonna be there. I might love him. I might not. But I will still marry a god.
My children will be gods too. They are gonna love this god.
This god is gonna give me wings. I will fly away whenever I need to but I will still have a god.
Infatuation maybe? Desire?
Hey, future god...
I know I want you.
You will want me too.
Let's be happy.
Make me happy dear god.
I'm waiting. Patiently with my flaws but flawless love.
When I'm ready you'll come get me right?
& I will marry a god.
Me.
The story : The Zombie.
I never liked him. Simply put & most sincerely said. For months. That existence was a bore. An asshole he is I always taught. Not even his face could change my mind.
O wait. Isn’t that me? Smiling. Chilling. Burning trees. With that asshole?
Yeah. I'm bored. But most importantly, I'm hungry. I want that brain. I want stimulation. Can I explore his mind? How deep is it? I want to calculate that depth.
But wait.
In his mind, all he wants is the box. No. The being he wants too. But the box he KNOWS he will get.
He did get the box & I got his soul. Let's weigh that shall we?
I expected different but my sin overcame more.
Addiction. I am the addiction now.
My face, my smile... my energy.
But I took his energy. Not his inadequacy. I keep taking that life don't call me a murderer I'm just constantly hungry.
Is that a smile I see? Concern? Care? He wants to hold me? You want me now? All hours?
I said nothing & I slept.
I just got the most positive message anybody who's trying to voice out their thoughts could ever receive.
Sometimes, I feel when I write or exploit my thoughts; I am the only one I connect with. It's not depressing but just rather sad that most people would judge without understanding a different concept of life.
This life motivated me to create my own world. I live That life. The open life. I believe hiding your true identity & ways from the world will eventually kill you... slowly. I was dying in my own self a few years ago, believing the stereotypical ways of Humans.
So much time was needed for me to understand The Self & accept The Self.
Accepting was one of the best things I could ever do for myself.
Accepting, not only the rights but the wrongs too. By accepting I corrected what had to be corrected & appreciated, loved & worked with what I was given.
Knowing that all that progress is observed & appreciated by people not just people that love me but by strangers, causes a warm sensation in my heart & a smile on my face.
I really am grateful to everyone who appreciates & loves what I do.
Peace & many Blessings.
