Self.

"I won't tell anyone one about the things we have planned". "I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favorite sound".

Its 3:22am and i am not sleeping yet.I just keep thinking and thinking but i feel so positive..there's so much positive energy in my world right now.

Why?

'Cos i spoke to myself...without any argument i know i am the only person who can calm myself down...i bring myself peace..positive energy.

The more i leave the world behind and stay with myself..the more peaceful i am. Away from all the negative energy...away from all the bullshit.

I love that i can do this to myself.

"Don't believe the things they tell you late at night"...."They are your worst enemies"..."They will never win the fight"..."Just hold on to me"..."I'll hold on to you"..."Its you and me up against the world"..."Its you and me".

I'm going to catch me if i fall and bring myself right back up all new and happy.

Its just me and me.

O no words.

Signs of PMS.

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You add chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say.

5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that reads, “How’s my driving—call 1-800-*-**.”

6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. You’re convinced there’s a God and he’s male.

8. You’re counting down the days until menopause.

9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

11. Three little letters (M, E, and N) send you into an uncontrollable rage.

Voluminous.

I feel lost...trapped..confused...i feel i don't belong here...i want to go back to before but right now i really don't know what before is....... i just want to go to before.



Its crazy i'm here reminiscing about the past..about him...i want all that back.I don't want to be here.I can feel the tears when i start to think.... my fingers move faster on the keyboard 'cos i have so much to say so much to say about the past.Its funny how the past is on my mind right now 'cos i always say to myself "never look back,don't drag yourself back..erase all those thoughts 'cos they were not meant to be".


Thats how i live ..you could relate to me if you have been hurt before..hurt really bad.I have become immune to it now.The day i felt that pain in my chest i swore never to feel that way again.It was something i saw my friends go through i used to be there for them,tell them it would be fine.

I never want to feel that again that's why i feel trapped why am i thinking about you?why am i going back to the same mistake?

Him...it might be a place,a thing,people or just a person but i simply want to put it as HIM.


I don't feel like sharing what him is..'cos i might just realize exactly what i'm doing and just...freak out..

Do you still think about me?do you feel what i think i might feel?have you changed?do you realize we can't get rid of each other?

sigh......



I like being me with no feelings..no emotions but people can't relate to that..so i tend to feel things..big MISTAKE.

I feel i'm not making any sense but my mind is speaking so fast and my fingers are trying hard to keep up with my thoughts.

I filled my heart with anathema.... but that was just negative energy as i always say "negative energy turn and walk away".

So i'm filled with positive energy but that can be ruined in so many ways..i reject all of that.

I rebuke all negative energy around me.....'COS every once in a while there is an asshole.


I am the only one who understands myself best..the only one who can make me constantly happy i don't really need people to make me happy.

I am a happy machine on my own.

Right now?

I wana go back to Him...that place..


There was more air to breathe.