Empty...But Full.

"While I am standing still, I prefer the stillness here. I am tired of earth, these people, I'm tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives."

Don't know why but that quote means so much to me.Makes me feel like an alien but truthfully that's how i feel most of the time.
Sometimes i feel no one understands me.When i try explaining myself i get that awkward silence or the "you are crazy stare".Well if that is who i am let it be..really i am just like every human being but i just got a different way of seeing things,i got a different way of thinking..

Yes i don't like well lit rooms i like the dark.I love the dark actually.Crazy? weird? disturbing? well that is just me i like to be in the dark by myself..away from all the negative energy from the world.It really works for me because when i am around negative energy i tend to react..negatively.So negative energy just turn and walk away.

So i have had you tell me things lately.."you don't listen to me anymore", "you don't care about me anymore"..sigh...the thing is i just don't want to get involved.You keep calling me and telling me the same things all over again.I keep telling you what i think i give you the best advice i could give anyone but you never listen so why do you call me then?

Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend dislikes me?.Because i tell you the truth. I try to open your eyes and he dislikes that because he wants you under his "spell".
It is your own choice to be under it or not.It is your own choice to listen to what i say.I do not appreciate you throwing your anger tantrums at me after you do exactly the opposite of what i tell you not to do.


Yes i am here for you i will comfort you but i can not always do this.You can not be a fool all the time.I tell you all this because i care do not compare me to the "world" saying i am just like them and i do not care.If i didn't i would not tell you the truth.We have been through this so many times and honestly i am tired.And yes you can live without him especially if he is not worth your tears.A nigga that makes you cry and does not show any remorse? he is never worth it.I remember you living happily before that nigga came in your life so don't bullshit me with "i can't live without him".

He tells you he can't express his emotions to you all the time because his friend are going to see him as a pussy.Your nigga has a fear..... a weakness.He thinks expressing himself makes him "soft"?It takes a whole lot for an individual to be real with himself..that shows strength.Is he strong?can he be real with his own self?if he can't what makes you think he is going to be real with you?


You Are So Tempted To Satisfy Your Urge So You Don't Wonder.

I do care.