Voluminous.

I feel lost...trapped..confused...i feel i don't belong here...i want to go back to before but right now i really don't know what before is....... i just want to go to before.



Its crazy i'm here reminiscing about the past..about him...i want all that back.I don't want to be here.I can feel the tears when i start to think.... my fingers move faster on the keyboard 'cos i have so much to say so much to say about the past.Its funny how the past is on my mind right now 'cos i always say to myself "never look back,don't drag yourself back..erase all those thoughts 'cos they were not meant to be".


Thats how i live ..you could relate to me if you have been hurt before..hurt really bad.I have become immune to it now.The day i felt that pain in my chest i swore never to feel that way again.It was something i saw my friends go through i used to be there for them,tell them it would be fine.

I never want to feel that again that's why i feel trapped why am i thinking about you?why am i going back to the same mistake?

Him...it might be a place,a thing,people or just a person but i simply want to put it as HIM.


I don't feel like sharing what him is..'cos i might just realize exactly what i'm doing and just...freak out..

Do you still think about me?do you feel what i think i might feel?have you changed?do you realize we can't get rid of each other?

sigh......



I like being me with no feelings..no emotions but people can't relate to that..so i tend to feel things..big MISTAKE.

I feel i'm not making any sense but my mind is speaking so fast and my fingers are trying hard to keep up with my thoughts.

I filled my heart with anathema.... but that was just negative energy as i always say "negative energy turn and walk away".

So i'm filled with positive energy but that can be ruined in so many ways..i reject all of that.

I rebuke all negative energy around me.....'COS every once in a while there is an asshole.


I am the only one who understands myself best..the only one who can make me constantly happy i don't really need people to make me happy.

I am a happy machine on my own.

Right now?

I wana go back to Him...that place..


There was more air to breathe.