I just didn't understand how she got me so agitated...
"That's not how you communicate with your daughter!" I spat those words in her face.
Shit IS complicated. It shouldn't be.
She cried as I spoke. "NO! This is not going to be my fault" I screamed in my head.
She should have spoken to me. Asked. She should have listened.
We should have talked. Like mother & daughter.
I shouldn't be pushed in that manner. I called her crazy. But, she was...at that specific moment I felt like I was fighting a stranger.
Or am I the stranger? To her...?
I feel like I am... she doesn't recognize me anymore.
I understand. I am not that girl. The girl I was before.
My total independence has affected my life greatly & maybe a tad bit faster than usual.
Wait. This is the way it should be. Maybe she's a tad bit slow?
I know she will never understand until she allows herself to. Until she stops talking & allows me to. Until she realizes... I have always known a little too much. I will always move a little too fast. I will always learn a lot.
She can't save me from the world. I can't survive with her.
I'm in this alone.
I love her. I know she loves me too.
But.
I don't think we will ever be the same.
